Dear John,

last-week-tonight_612x380_0Its me, SuRu. Its a new year and I’m back again writing to you, my favorite comedian, to ask for your assistance in stopping an act of ecocide. You easily could find comedy gold in this dark, dark story.

Spectra Energy’s Algonquin Incremental Market Expansion (“AIM”) jumbo high pressure fracked gas pipeline is moving forward in my neck of the woods. Its your neck of the woods too, John. If this pipeline blows, you will be looking for another place to live and work because New York City will be toast. Spectra Energy is building this thing just 105 feet from the aging Indian Point nuke plant. The blast radius of this pipe has the potential to vaporize a portion of Indian Point which will result in a Fukushima on the Hudson situation.  We made a short movie about this risky business last year. Did you watch it? If not, click here.

This week, Spectra will be hosting “Open Houses” for another segment of the same pipeline, that they are calling Access Northeast. By calling it another name, they can get away with all sorts of sneaky business. This trick is called segmentation, it allows them to eliminate the need to look at cumulative impacts of the project.  It puts the specific pipeline in a vacuum, so they can pretend they aren’t polluting the skies with more toxins.

Swag from Spectra Energy's open house in Yorktown NY

Swag from Spectra Energy’s open house in Yorktown NY

Open houses are a bizarre event that are required by government regulations. Its a chance for the public to get a more clear understanding of how their health and safety will be put in danger as the pipelines invade their communities against their will. They have detailed maps of the proposed pipeline route and Spectra Energy folks will be there to schmooze, smile, answer questions, offer up snacks and Spectra swag. I sent you some swag last year to the HBO offices in NYC. Did it end up on your desk? Or has Last Week Tonight put me on the creepy stalker list?

Spectra’s pipeline projects bring gas from the fracking wells of Pennsylvania to the Massachusetts coast for export. This gas isn’t going to heat the homes in New England, they have more than enough gas already, the Massachusetts Attorney General said so.  Don’t listen to Spectra Energy’s marketing bullshit, John. They are lying!  Spectra will make more money exporting gas overseas. Spectra gets the profit, we are stuck with the risk. I’m sure the folks in San Bruno and Porter Ranch California can relate to what I’m saying here.
San Bruno gas pipeline explosion

San Bruno gas pipeline explosion

 

Desperate times call for desperate measures, John. These fracked gas infrastructure projects are a recipe for disaster and need to be stopped.  Gas is worse than coal. It’s not clean, it’s not safe. Pipelines leak, they catch fire and explode. We’ve gotta keep 80% of fossil fuels in the ground if we are to survive the future with climate chaos and all that jazz. This is no joke. This is life or death. Our kid’s future is grim if we keep burning gas.

I know deep in my bones that you and your talented team of writers can turn this into a hilarious story for Last Week Tonight. It seems to me that you can play a pivotal role in  stopping the pipelines, compressor stations and pigging stations invading our state.  That’s right, pigging stations! I’ll bet you’re asking yourself, what the fuck is a pigging station? I’ll save the pigging stations for another day.
Get to work John, we need you on this story.
 Here is the schedule:
Monday, Jan. 11 from 5:30 – 7:30 p.m. Crowne Plaza Hotel  3 Executive Blvd.  Suffern, NY 10901
Tues. Jan. 12 from 5:30 – 7:30  Centennial Golf Club  185 John Simpson Rd.  Carmel, NY   10512
Wed. Jan. 13 from 5:30 – 7:30  Crowne Plaza Hotel  18 Old Ridgebury Rd.  Danbury, CT  06810